Dream stewardship

I was reading this morning about “dream stewardship” and couldn’t help but see it through the lens of my recovery from burnout and my journey with depression.  Here’s what I read:

What are the key lessons of dream stewardship?

  • Be careful what you say and to whom you say it: “walk before you talk, investigate before you initiate.”
  • Check your ego at the door – too many leaders believe having a dream gives them the right to pursue it all costs.  As they pursue, they alienate others and cause organizational havoc.
  • Practice both now and later – God expects your best effort now so you will be prepared for all that He plans to do in and through you later
  • Trust God in the details

Generally, I think I tried to apply these principles to my work although I know there were times when I blew it.  I did not, however, include considerations for my family or for self-care in my analysis of how to steward dreams.

If I had, here are some things I would add:

  • Be careful what you say and to whom you say it: “Walk before you talk, investigate before you initiate.”  Before rallying your team and moving too far forward with the investigation, consider the impact of this idea on your family.  Do they have the opportunity to tell you what they really think about your great ideas and dreams?  If they tell you they don’t think this “dream” is good for your family, will you listen?
  • Check your ego at the door – too many leaders believe having a dream gives them the right to pursue it all costs.  As they pursue, they alienate others and cause organizational havoc.  What about alienating your family and friends and creating family havoc?  Measure the cost to your family carefully, knowing it is a fallacy if you think you can “make it up to them later”.  What about the costs to self care?  Will taking this on still allow time for you to go for that run or to that pilates classAre you fooling yourself into thinking you will be able to make it up to yourself later?
  • Practice both now and later – God expects your best effort now so you will be prepared for all that He plans to do in and through you later.  This applies first to your relationship with God, secondly to your relationship with family, thirdly to ministry/ work.  Are your best efforts *now* in the right priority order?
  • Trust God in the details.  God will honour your efforts in carefully ordering your priorities.  Just because you are inspired to see a dream come to fruition doesn’t mean this is the right time to see it through.  Be patient. 

Lastly, if you supervise others who dream big dreams:

  • ask your staff how they are doing in balancing work and lifeListen to their answers.
  • when they come to you with a dream, help them to consider if this is the right time for them to pursue the dream by asking them about what time the dream might take away from their family or from their self-care.
  • when a staff person says they need a rest, or more time with their family – do everything you can to help them make that happen, without delay.  In my case, by the time I said something to my supervisor – I was desperate (even though I tried not to show it).
  • model what this looks like to your staff.  Say no to something for the sake of your health or your family.
  • respect and advocate for your staff’s days off.  When they find a day off, do everything in your power to help them protect that time.  So, solve the problem, intercept the “quick call on their cell”, correct others who do not respect their team member’s time off.  This might be the most important thing you do for your staff.

What would you add?

What bleeds leads – pt 1

This phrase normally refers to the unfortunate and pervasive truth that the more shocking or dramatic a story is, the more likely it is to make it to the front page of a newspaper. Even the best intentioned of us can find ourselves sucked into a juicy headline or a shocking picture wanting to know the details of what happened.

The media does this to grab our attention. We respond …. because …..?

I have been overwhelmed by the response to my last post and want to make sure my motives here are clear.   I am writing to:

- encourage

- break the silence

- challenge

- heal

- reflect & learn

I am not writing to:

- get attention

- self- promote

- slam anyone or anything

If that fits for you, then welcome here.

The most generous thing?

I was reminded recently about a time when I was in the grocery store and the woman in front of me was having one of “those” days. She had three small children in (and out..and around) the grocery cart, was trying to bag her items and pay at the same time. When the cashier gave her the total, it didn’t take long to realize that she didn’t have enough money – she was about $20 short, actually. I could see her face start to flush as she dug in her purse and, as quickly and discreetly as I could, I passed her the $20. She thanked me, looked away and left as quickly as she could. After the woman left and while the cashier was ringing in my items, she said, “That’s the most generous thing I’ve ever seen anyone do!”

The point in me sharing this isn’t to draw attention to me giving the $20. I just did what I thought anyone would have done. It was just the right thing to do.

What I do want us to look at here is what the cashier said. Somebody giving $20 to a mom with 3 young kids is the most generous thing she has ever seen anyone do???? Are you kidding me???? Simultaneously, my heart broke and anger boiled.

I know there are a lot of good, generous people in this city – many of whom are Christ-followers. But if a cashier, working in a high traffic grocery store (who probably sees 100s of people come and go each day) says that this was the most generous thing she’s ever seen, I’m concerned. Deeply concerned.

But before I go too far off on this, I need to ask myself, how generous am I …really? This was easy – I just handed over a twenty. Who has God placed in my life that has needs I could be meeting? When was the last time I put my agenda aside and gave someone my time… my attention… my knowledge? When was the last time I put myself in a situation where God could really use me?

How generous am I? How generous are you?

I heard myself

I heard myself telling my son to be more patient…with a very impatient tone.

I heard myself telling my neighbour that it’s not okay to take care of everybody else at the expense of taking care of herself.

I heard myself telling a woman I coach to pray through the decision she needs to make.

Then, I heard God ask if I heard what I was telling others to do…

What is God telling you to do today? Will you do it?

I know I’m smarter than…

A few months ago, I came back from shopping with my young son and, with a smug and victorious tone, recounted for my husband the elaborate scheme I had just deployed. I had been able to successfully conceal, then purchase a very cool gift for my son – right under his nose! My husband’s response? “Congratulations, Hon. You just outsmarted our 2-year old.”

Ouch!

How often do we puff ourselves up because of things or events that, put in the right perspective, are completely inappropriate?

How often do we take credit away from God by claiming it for ourselves?