Tag Archives: Church

Only in Ministry

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English: Church pews. Heiligenkreuz Abbey, Austria

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Only in vocational ministry:

- will you be discouraged from keeping a timesheet

- will people expect your family to be part of your work

- is it not uncommon to negotiate pay/hours down (with the rationale that, after you put in the the extra unpaid hours, you still have some room for a day or two off or away)

- will people’s criticisms of your work be (frequently) personal

- can people behave in disrespectful, unsafe, attacking ways – and be welcomed back with little or no consequences

- can a tough season at work separate you and your family from your greatest support system (i.e. your church)

- does leaving your job result in displacement from your roles at church

I’m not saying I don’t understand or even support why these dynamics exist.  I am saying that sometimes the consequences of these dynamics are missed or minimized.  So, knowing what I do about the realities of ministry, what can I do?

As a church member,  I will:

- encourage my ministry leaders to track their time, for the purposes of ensuring they have enough time with their families and taking some time to care for their bodies and their own souls

- tell my ministry leaders’ families that I know they already give so much and that they don’t have to volunteer in a role just to demonstrate that they are supportive

- give financially, attend church business meetings and advocate for good wages and benefits for staff

- encourage ministry leaders frequently and meaningfully – knowing that those whose criticize probably got to them first

-  encourage ministry staff to have supports and networks outside of church because there will come times where you can’t speak to anyone at church (this can be easier said than done).

What will you do?

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My faulty beliefs

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Looking back, there were a number of beliefs I had that contributed to me burning out:

- if I *can* work harder, then I must

- if I’m discouraged, the best thing to do is work harder

- if I stay late to do one more thing, my family will understand

- if I stay late I can always make it up to my family/ to myself

- working until I crash, then recouping on holidays – works for me

- keeping a Sabbath doesn’t really apply to ministry staff during busy ministry seasons

- I’m keeping a Sabbath as long as I don’t actually go in to work

- high- capacity leaders don’t talk about their limits

- the vision I have for this is so big, it will be worth it to put in so much extra time

…and more.

What are the faulty beliefs you have?  Do any of these sound familiar?  If so – do something about it, please.  Loving one another includes not letting each other get away with this kind of destructive thinking.

The quick nod

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As I talk with people about the fact that I burned out while on staff at my church, I have noticed many “nod” in response.  With very little delay. Like they already knew or aren’t really surprised.

I’m curious about the quick nods.  Is it that:

- they saw it happening and knew, heard or guessed this was what happened to me, or

- they aren’t surprised because burnout is so common amongst people in ministry, or

- they identify with what I’m disclosing because they are headed there themselves??

I want better than a “quick nod” for my pastors and ministry leaders.

So for me, that means lovingly speaking with them when I know they aren’t keeping a Sabbath.  It means challenging my fellow church-goers around their expectations of staff and it means doing my part to support and encourage our leaders.

Most of all, it means continuing the hard work of achieving and maintaining health and wellness in my own life.   This means ensuring *I* am keeping a Sabbath, I am listening to feedback from others who might be raising a flag where they see my priorities getting out of whack, and watching vigilantly for signs that I am returning to some of my old ways of thinking and working.  It means listening to my husband who has said he doesn’t feel I’m ready yet to jump back into serving.  It means standing firm in front of people who don’t understand why I appear to be “just consuming”.  It means taking care of my physical and mental health and learning to be patient with God’s pace in healing me.  It means being willing to be honest about where I’m at – caring more about what God thinks of me, than man.

What bleeds leads – pt 1

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This phrase normally refers to the unfortunate and pervasive truth that the more shocking or dramatic a story is, the more likely it is to make it to the front page of a newspaper. Even the best intentioned of us can find ourselves sucked into a juicy headline or a shocking picture wanting to know the details of what happened.

The media does this to grab our attention. We respond …. because …..?

I have been overwhelmed by the response to my last post and want to make sure my motives here are clear.   I am writing to:

- encourage

- break the silence

- challenge

- heal

- reflect & learn

I am not writing to:

- get attention

- self- promote

- slam anyone or anything

If that fits for you, then welcome here.