Tag Archives: Christianity

Only in Ministry

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English: Church pews. Heiligenkreuz Abbey, Austria

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Only in vocational ministry:

- will you be discouraged from keeping a timesheet

- will people expect your family to be part of your work

- is it not uncommon to negotiate pay/hours down (with the rationale that, after you put in the the extra unpaid hours, you still have some room for a day or two off or away)

- will people’s criticisms of your work be (frequently) personal

- can people behave in disrespectful, unsafe, attacking ways – and be welcomed back with little or no consequences

- can a tough season at work separate you and your family from your greatest support system (i.e. your church)

- does leaving your job result in displacement from your roles at church

I’m not saying I don’t understand or even support why these dynamics exist.  I am saying that sometimes the consequences of these dynamics are missed or minimized.  So, knowing what I do about the realities of ministry, what can I do?

As a church member,  I will:

- encourage my ministry leaders to track their time, for the purposes of ensuring they have enough time with their families and taking some time to care for their bodies and their own souls

- tell my ministry leaders’ families that I know they already give so much and that they don’t have to volunteer in a role just to demonstrate that they are supportive

- give financially, attend church business meetings and advocate for good wages and benefits for staff

- encourage ministry leaders frequently and meaningfully – knowing that those whose criticize probably got to them first

-  encourage ministry staff to have supports and networks outside of church because there will come times where you can’t speak to anyone at church (this can be easier said than done).

What will you do?

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The quick nod

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As I talk with people about the fact that I burned out while on staff at my church, I have noticed many “nod” in response.  With very little delay. Like they already knew or aren’t really surprised.

I’m curious about the quick nods.  Is it that:

- they saw it happening and knew, heard or guessed this was what happened to me, or

- they aren’t surprised because burnout is so common amongst people in ministry, or

- they identify with what I’m disclosing because they are headed there themselves??

I want better than a “quick nod” for my pastors and ministry leaders.

So for me, that means lovingly speaking with them when I know they aren’t keeping a Sabbath.  It means challenging my fellow church-goers around their expectations of staff and it means doing my part to support and encourage our leaders.

Most of all, it means continuing the hard work of achieving and maintaining health and wellness in my own life.   This means ensuring *I* am keeping a Sabbath, I am listening to feedback from others who might be raising a flag where they see my priorities getting out of whack, and watching vigilantly for signs that I am returning to some of my old ways of thinking and working.  It means listening to my husband who has said he doesn’t feel I’m ready yet to jump back into serving.  It means standing firm in front of people who don’t understand why I appear to be “just consuming”.  It means taking care of my physical and mental health and learning to be patient with God’s pace in healing me.  It means being willing to be honest about where I’m at – caring more about what God thinks of me, than man.

The most generous thing?

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I was reminded recently about a time when I was in the grocery store and the woman in front of me was having one of “those” days. She had three small children in (and out..and around) the grocery cart, was trying to bag her items and pay at the same time. When the cashier gave her the total, it didn’t take long to realize that she didn’t have enough money – she was about $20 short, actually. I could see her face start to flush as she dug in her purse and, as quickly and discreetly as I could, I passed her the $20. She thanked me, looked away and left as quickly as she could. After the woman left and while the cashier was ringing in my items, she said, “That’s the most generous thing I’ve ever seen anyone do!”

The point in me sharing this isn’t to draw attention to me giving the $20. I just did what I thought anyone would have done. It was just the right thing to do.

What I do want us to look at here is what the cashier said. Somebody giving $20 to a mom with 3 young kids is the most generous thing she has ever seen anyone do???? Are you kidding me???? Simultaneously, my heart broke and anger boiled.

I know there are a lot of good, generous people in this city – many of whom are Christ-followers. But if a cashier, working in a high traffic grocery store (who probably sees 100s of people come and go each day) says that this was the most generous thing she’s ever seen, I’m concerned. Deeply concerned.

But before I go too far off on this, I need to ask myself, how generous am I …really? This was easy – I just handed over a twenty. Who has God placed in my life that has needs I could be meeting? When was the last time I put my agenda aside and gave someone my time… my attention… my knowledge? When was the last time I put myself in a situation where God could really use me?

How generous am I? How generous are you?

I heard myself

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I heard myself telling my son to be more patient…with a very impatient tone.

I heard myself telling my neighbour that it’s not okay to take care of everybody else at the expense of taking care of herself.

I heard myself telling a woman I coach to pray through the decision she needs to make.

Then, I heard God ask if I heard what I was telling others to do…

What is God telling you to do today? Will you do it?