As I talk with people about the fact that I burned out while on staff at my church, I have noticed many “nod” in response. With very little delay. Like they already knew or aren’t really surprised.
I’m curious about the quick nods. Is it that:
- they saw it happening and knew, heard or guessed this was what happened to me, or
- they aren’t surprised because burnout is so common amongst people in ministry, or
- they identify with what I’m disclosing because they are headed there themselves??
I want better than a “quick nod” for my pastors and ministry leaders.
So for me, that means lovingly speaking with them when I know they aren’t keeping a Sabbath. It means challenging my fellow church-goers around their expectations of staff and it means doing my part to support and encourage our leaders.
Most of all, it means continuing the hard work of achieving and maintaining health and wellness in my own life. This means ensuring *I* am keeping a Sabbath, I am listening to feedback from others who might be raising a flag where they see my priorities getting out of whack, and watching vigilantly for signs that I am returning to some of my old ways of thinking and working. It means listening to my husband who has said he doesn’t feel I’m ready yet to jump back into serving. It means standing firm in front of people who don’t understand why I appear to be “just consuming”. It means taking care of my physical and mental health and learning to be patient with God’s pace in healing me. It means being willing to be honest about where I’m at – caring more about what God thinks of me, than man.
well said Candace. thank you for allowing me and others to come along on your journey out of burnout. i also faced some “nods” when I would candidly share with other believers that I was “on my out” (not “already out and looking back”) at spiritual dryness (wilderness). I presumed the nods were from people who were really lost for words. They just didn’t know how to respond so rather than risk offending me they nodded and kept silent. I understand — sometimes i am left speechless too!
Thank you Candace. I gave this a good slow nod because:
- I’ve been there and back a few times.
- I’ve seen other people go there, and I wish I’d been more compassionate and helpful to them. We need to reach out to each other.
- I constantly have to remember to do the work. It isn’t easy, but it got easier.
Many blessings on your journey as you help make it okay to talk about this stuff!